Incredible Woman #2 - Kristin Johnson

"Take parenting classes. I don't care who you are there is ALWAYS something you can learn! Dave and I have taken several parenting classes together over the years. Noone is given a manual on how to be a parent and you will learn not only the basics from an instuctor, but you will learn so much from other class members! Weather your children are small or teens, we all need advice on how to deal with different situations! You may find that you agree or that what you are doing really is working! I have been teaching a parenting class for 9 years for a federally funded program called Project Reality. I have the corriculum pretty much memorized- BUT what is in the book is not what happens for most families! It is a guideline! I learn more from the parents in my classes then I think they learn from me sometimes! I have many parents who return year after year because your kids are always going through different stages!
Some of the things I stand by no matter what: NEVER HIT- PERIOD! There is never a reason to hit a child, you are an adult , get your feelings under control and find a way to deal with the situation without raising your hand! Take yourself out of the situation and never approach your child when you are angry. Say NO and mean it! You are not mean, bitchy, or a bad mom if you say no! Kids need limits and dicipline to learn how to use thier time, and spend money, even if you have it they need to earn it! My kids do not get something everytime I walk into a store- they never have becuse I am pretty frugal,(you have to be with a family this size!) but they also don't expect me to just get them things because they want it, and they appreciate things I do get for them allot more. They don't have to have the "best" of everything and they have all learned it is OK to bargain shop!
None of us is perfect, we all ground our kids and have given in a few days later so they don't miss something important to them! It doesn't mean we are pushovers, it just means we love them and want thier happiness! You are not a faliure if you give in sometimes- but when you dicipline mean it- especially if you are diciplining because of something major ie: cerfew, sluffing, drugs, alchohol, lieing which pretty much goes along with all of the others! Know your kids! How they are, what they like, who their friends are, who their friends Parents are, where they are, what they are doing! HOW?? Keep the lines of communication open!! Talk to your kids, be there for them no matter what they do, NEVER turn your back on them or make them feel like you don't love them. Make sure they know without a shadow of a doubt that they can talk to YOU about anything! Sex, Drugs, Drinking, Friends, etc. If they can't talk to you they Will talk to thier friends! Who would you rather they learn from? Who's advice would you rather they take? Now I am FAR from perfect that is for sure, I never thought I would have 9 kids, be told to my face that they hate me, or called names, never thought I would become a grandma before my son graduated high school, never thought I would have to sit in a court room for one of my kids, or that I would get calls at 4:00 in the morning form thr police! BUT, I love my kids- all of them- more than anything! Stay calm, breath, and pray for strength and guidence! Hang in there, it only lasts a life time!" :)